


Normal

by SlickesGirl



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Other, other members are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 10:36:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15580083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlickesGirl/pseuds/SlickesGirl
Summary: Hui just didn´t get how he couldn´t be normal like the other people he knew. Every normal person was at least once in love it seemed. Every other normal person seem to like to have sex. Why couldn´t Hui be the same? He just felt really alone about this whole thing, even researching did not really help him at all. They mostly said that he probably just did not find the right person yet but he knew that no desire for sex at all was weird. Honestly he really liked physical attention as you could see with his friends, his members but it was just... lonely!





	Normal

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction is a really personal thing for me because I had those same thoughts Hui has in this work. I don´t really have them anymore since I´m coming to terms with how I am but it´s slow progress and especially when I see people around me getting a boyfriend I tend to have thoughts like this again… So if you´re currently struggling Always know, that other People, even if you don´t know them, are Maybe going trough the same thing. This thought helped me a lot with feeling better about myself!

“Yeah, I´m really happy for you, Minjae!“ Hui smiled when he got off the phone. One of his childhood friends called to let him know, that he was going to get married in a few weeks and that he was invited to the wedding if he wanted to come. Hwitaek obviously agreed, unbelievably glad for the break they currently had after finishing their promotions.

He sighed in despair. He was getting older and and his friends from home were slowly, one after another, settling down with their girlfriends – some even had kids already. He still didn´t have a proper relationship, which did not end when they finally got to the part where they wanted more than him out of this whole thing. If he was being honest with himself, he never really felt in love before at all. He tried- he really did, but there was just never that feeling that other people talked about when they fell in love. Hui never had butterflies in his stomach. Sure there was a warm feeling but he also had those when he looked at his group members and he was not in love with them at all. Honestly he was already grossed out at just the thought of it, they were like family. 

He even tried to have a relationship with a boy, thinking that maybe MAYBE he is just someone who isn´t attracted to girls but it was just the same all over again. He just never really clicked with another person that way . Sure, he felt affection but it was never about sexual desire for him. He could admit when someone was attractive easy enough but anything further than that never came to his mind.

The other members of Pentagon sometimes talked about how their relationships went - hell Edawn was in a secret relationship with Hyuna for over 2 years now. Even the younger boys talked about feelings they had for a person they were attracted to. And wasn´t that just embarrassing for Hui himself. These guys were up to five years younger than him and they just seemed so far ahead of him in this topic. 

He just didn´t get how he couldn´t be normal like the other people he knew. Every normal person was at least once in love it seemed. Every other normal person seem to like to have sex. Why couldn´t Hui be the same? He just felt really alone about this whole thing, even researching did not really help him at all. They mostly said that he probably just did not find the right person yet but he knew that no desire for sex at all was weird. Honestly he really liked physical attention as you could see with his friends, his members but it was just... lonely! He could not help his friends when they came to him with his feelings about other people and they sometimes made fun of him for his clumsy, awkward attempts at helping them out. Obviously, Hui knew that they didn´t mean it in a bad way, but sometimes all his self doubts came to mind and he could not ignore them...

Was he really that bad at understanding feelings as they made him out to be or was it just him overreacting? Did he have some sort of illness that he could not have feelings? Maybe he just didn´t find the right person yet and it was just bad luck on his part... Or he just was not meant to fall in love at all...

A voice startled him out of his thoughts: “Hui-Hyung, Manager-Hyungnim told us to go home. It´s already around 1am and we´re on break! Hey did you... Are you alright? You look like you have some things you have to get out of your system?” Hui heard Kino ask. “Oh, yeah, I´m just fine Kino, thank you for asking.” He lets a smile grow on his face and when it was a bit less bright than it usual was, Kino did not notice it. “Come on, I´m going to buy you something at the convenience store.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this was pretty heavy but I just wanted to write about how it was for me, especially at the beginning.  
> I also wanted to say that there is a difference between aromantic and asexual People. Too often I see people using the terms in ways that are wrong. I.m going to quote a website here:  
> Asexual is not experiencing sexual attraction to anyone, and aromantic is not experiencing romantic attraction toward people.  
> Sexual attraction—I don’t experience this so I can’t really explain it very well, but the pull or desire to have sex/do sexual things with a specific person. I.e imagining them with their clothes off, wanting to have sex with them, being “turned on” by them.  
> Romatic attraction—The desire to have a romantic relationship or do romatic things with a person. I.e go on a date with them, hold their hand. The butterflies in your tummy type of thin.  
> Most people kind of lump sexual and romantic attraction together, and while that’s fine for those who that works for, not everyone experiences the two attractions the same way.
> 
> So yeah I hope I could give some people a bit of an inside thought of a person who has been struggling with this topic. If you are struggling try and talk to people, it does not have to be with friends, maybe talk to people you know over the internet. In the end it´s always your decision but I do hope you talk about your problems!
> 
> I also said in this fanfiction that research did not really give him an answer. It was not that case for me, I found some things about asexuality and aromantic people, but since he is from South Korea and they are still pretty conservative I figured that there would not be a lot of informations you could find about this topic. Obviously I don´t know if this is the case but for the sake of this fanfiction let´s pretend it´s like this ^^
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated and I would also like to know if other people had the same thoughts I had :)


End file.
